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Advice
Jun 15, 2018 5:39:48 GMT
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Post by arngrim on Jun 15, 2018 5:39:48 GMT
To be completely honest I have been having a hard time adjusting to everything lately. Trying to suppress the ego in everyday society, trying to learn how to not stifle the rage but use it in different ways for more productive things. I lift and try to meditate but that is not always an option all the time.
I wanted to start a section and I would like everyone to chime in. What do you find difficult in life with the gangr? How did you adjust or how are you seeking to adjust? The path is one of struggle, but this doesnt mean we have to walk it alone. What would you tell a newcomer browsing these forms? There is a lot left on to us. Most asatru spend their meetings arguing among themselves if they even give us the time of day.
My best piece of advice is this, and its one I love to ignore a lot because its easy - nothing comes quickly. For me, pain is the best teacher, it always has been, though sometimes it can be difficult looking forward when your in the thick of it. Not a lot of people I can talk to about this, I would love to get a discussion going and hear from you all.
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red
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Sept 13, 2018 3:51:22 GMT
Post by red on Sept 13, 2018 3:51:22 GMT
Hey there Arngrim,
For me, I definitely channel the rage into working out, but for various reasons I generally prefer isometric and body-weight exercises than pumping iron. When I was a kid living in the woods, I’d spend loads of time outside. Sometimes just walking about clearing my head from doing home school. I got into building cairns as well. I’d pull massive rocks out of a creek bed and roll them to the location. I’d get muddy, scratched, and bruised from pushing up against the rocks, but it was amazingly glorious. I’d roar and bare my teeth as I pushed, rolled, or lifted these heavy rocks. Other things I’d do in the woods was run around and break sticks over my arms and neck in a mad rage. Also I’d do dynamic flexing during this time and flex the related muscle groups. I also set up some log drums in a circle and jumped around them, one to another to see how fast I could go or how far. This was great cardio work and I’d also become determined to see how far I could jump. For some reason I was really wanting to be able to jump far. I got really good at it, to the point where I jumped a ravine holding a creek and the adult I was with said I had flown across. One of my favorite things to do in Fall when I was a kid was to empty a creek bed of its rocks by picking them out and throwing them on the bank. Then getting out and throwing them back in. This I’d do over several sessions. Working like this in the cold and building up body heat to the point of taking off my shirt in freezing temperatures made me feel great. I’d also sometimes at night, run around outside in the snow, shirtless with an axe in hand, daring anyone and anything to come face me. Sometimes I’d even yell out my challenge in a shivering fury. Wherever I feared the shadows under the darkness of trees, that’s where I’d stomp off to and beat my intimidation. My anger burned outwards like a fire and I essentially said “screw you” to anything that may have been out there.
As to the negative mental aspects; When I was pretty young, I got depressed over a woman, books I was reading at the time, school, etc. I grew quiet and introverted. I began to wear a blank faced mask to hide my raging emotions, which I tricked myself into thinking didn’t exist. I achieved a zen-like state; blank and emotionless. People questioned me as a red-head and why I didn’t have a fiery temper. If only they knew the abominations I’d mutter to myself upon seeing merry people. My secret was that I was almost always angry, frustrated, or even bitter at times. I hated myself most of all, for all that was weak and un-godlike. I also thought people were naive, wooden, close-minded, dogmatic, and weaklings. The zen-like, nihilistic state of mind is something I’d have to fight as much as the smoldering anger that would burn within me the other half of the time. I usually wear a face of either blank emotionless simplicity or concentrated scowling, which reminds me of the death mask as described by the Julius Caesar in his Diaries when he mentioned the appearance of the Germanic Tribesmen of the Suebii. I’d also take on other people’s personalities to hide my own. I got freaky good at it. I’d wear them as a mask. General meditation helps center my personality back again, when this happens on its own. I find myself again, even though I kinda don’t want to. Understanding from others is a bit tough, but whatever. With some people I just tell them if somehow it comes up. I’ll be bluntly honest and just throw it out there and laugh to myself at their reactions. Other people, I won’t say a thing about it. I’m guessing most people think I’m a weirdo, which hey, guess I am.
Nowadays I do a fair bit of camping. It clears my head, especially being away from others and sometimes at night in front of a fire, I’ll enter a gangr, far from people. Music helps me enter a controlled, minor frenzy. For me, it can be a good thing to do before a workout. Cold exposure is something I’ve been experimenting with. I’ve learned a thing or two from researching Wim Hof, but I don’t practice his actual Method very often. One thing I’ve noticed is that it’s very difficult for me to enter the gangr in the heat of summer. When it’s cold out, I can get into the mindset very easily. It’s almost like a rage comes over me as I defy the cold to bother me. All I’ll usually do in these circumstances is breath in slowly and long through the nose and then forcefully through a wide open mouth, attempting to see my breathe. This seems to invigorate me and give me energy and a type of anger. I began to love the cold and even invented a breathing method for helping to endure being in cold water.
In summary, I guess I’d just say research the subject fully and understand it and yourself. Be bluntly honest with yourself as well. Don’t try to suppress it and control doesn’t sound like the right word either. I think make peace with it is a better way of thinking about it. Experiment with minor releases of the energy.
So what about you?
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instinkt
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I would like to make contacts or friendships :)
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Sept 26, 2018 18:10:25 GMT
Post by instinkt on Sept 26, 2018 18:10:25 GMT
Arngrim i can understand you and feel like you it is not easy for mamy people the sufferimg and the sadness are what cause me the most i always try somehow to take me time off or to endure it until a can it go its hard but i do sports and have a lot of diziplien what helps only limited it is better for famalie friends or >> Pets<< but the Winter is though there its an up and down and a toture sometimes > But we are not alone < !
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Advice
Sept 28, 2018 7:47:47 GMT
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Post by arngrim on Sept 28, 2018 7:47:47 GMT
Youre right instinkt we arent and I am glad we all found this place one way or the other, as I was feeling very alone before.
One of the reasons I am glad is because what Red said made so much sense to me and helped me get past a strong mental block. I have been frustrated all summer because I have felt not completely whole, as the heat saps a lot from me. For two weeks my shithole apartment did not have warm water and I had to take ice cold showers. This in a weird way was hugely beneficial and I havent stopped since, unless my muscles are real sore. I have heard of Wim Hof but havent looked into him. I do the polar plunge every january and it has always been spiritual more for me then anything. Also, camping or hiking, listening to Wardruna, really helps center me. I get so fiery and angry surrounded by all the cords all the time out of nowhere and just need to get away as comfort is an illusion, and growth only comes when you are uncomfortable.
For myself, I try to channel it when I lift. Maybe twice or so a month (not in summer) I will try to get out somewhere and just go full gangr. I know when my time is here because I will always dream about it, dream about shifting, or being frustrated that I cant. Like you said about personality, I do the same. Talking to someone that murdered their own ego would not be comfortable, so I borrow others exactly like a mask. It is easy not to get lost in it because focusing on the aspect within me always brings me back to that inbetween of conscious and gangr. I also am going to start chopping wood regularly, or just doing something with my hands that requires force.
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red
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Sept 28, 2018 17:55:40 GMT
Post by red on Sept 28, 2018 17:55:40 GMT
Wood chopping will be good for sure. The heat is oppressive, its atmosphere heavy like a weight. You ever see wolves play when it's snowing? They gain energy from rain as well. I'm trying to not hide my own personality or instincts anymore. A week ago I went to my parent's old property where I grew up. My cairns still stand and I heard howling in the distance. Probably coyote. You listen to Wardruna? Nice! I would recommend my favorite song of all time, Suurin by Leaf. I try to keep my Nordic/Germanic Folk music as legit as possible, or just be aware of what's not that I listen to. Some Heilung, Wardruna, Leaf, Gjallarhorn, Garmarna, some Eivor, some Danheim, and Einar Selvik's solo stuff.
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Advice
Sept 30, 2018 20:45:27 GMT
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Post by arngrim on Sept 30, 2018 20:45:27 GMT
Helps explain why I love the rain so much. And yes I enjoy Wardruna a lot, i have all three of their albums. His solo stuff is incredible, a true skald. Eivor is amazing too, trollabundin and i torkuni are some of my favorites when its a misty night or im hiking somewhere. Some of danheim i know.
I agree with the oppression. I know a lot of the gangr is rage for me which always "heats" my body up, which is maybe why Im so lethargic in the summer. When i meditate i try to think on being within the ginnugagap and having both primal heat and ice pressing in.
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red
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Oct 3, 2018 1:51:19 GMT
Post by red on Oct 3, 2018 1:51:19 GMT
Summer's when I'm the moodiest. Like a pained, frustrated bear.
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mutz
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Oct 6, 2018 9:36:17 GMT
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Post by mutz on Oct 6, 2018 9:36:17 GMT
It's kinda interesting. I just realized that in summers it's so hard to keep a good mood.
When I was younger I spent a lot of time in a rural property and in the woods just digging holes and chopping wood until my mind gets clear.
I redirect mostly of the energy lifting weights and walking long distances. While lifting I'll go into a gangr like state and it's great to feel the soreness after a workout. When I'm feeling this kind of pain I really think my mind gets into a turbo mode and I can deal with my research and job with great proficiency...
But it took a long time do realize that I need to be physically exhaust to achieve peace and boost my mind
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red
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Oct 7, 2018 19:10:44 GMT
Post by red on Oct 7, 2018 19:10:44 GMT
Yep. I used to take long walks in the woods or stalk deer as a kid. Did a lot of wood chopping, but I hated summer.
Something I’ve definitely done on multiple occasions is use the gangr when I’m doing hard physical labor. Whether it was lifting an item my own weight or wheel-borrowing cement. When I was moving heavy objects at a place of work, other people around my own age wouldn’t dare try what I was doing, but would use carts or trolleys. Some of these guys were bigger than me, but they simply lacked the willpower to do anything. It may also have had to do with the fact that I actually knew how to lift the items in question in a proper squatting form, but it was at this time that I realized something I’d come to live by; strength is a skill. The fact of the matter is, I'm not a very big guy. I do some isometric workouts, purely for function and eat mostly meat, but strength is not something one necessarily physically has or doesn’t have. Strength is knowing how to use what you’ve got; how to optimize the strength of the muscles and mentally push beyond what you imagine your boundaries to be and without seriously hurting yourself.
I think it's interesting using one's willpower and strength in a minor state like this. It’s definitely not a full-blown gangr and with my of yet neophyte status with this sort of thing, I’m not even positive that I’ve ever achieved a full gangr. It’s a work in progress though.
So mutz, you have a desk like job and you exhaust your body beforehand so you can work better mentally? I'm in construction, but sometimes I have to do some more mechanical, mind stimulating work and just this last week something pretty dain bad happened, where I got frustrated and could feel myself tripping into the gangr. It was really weird. I was doing some maintenance work for a change on some windows at a college girl's studio apartment. She caught my eye, so I tried to avoid her. There was some interesting symbolism in the place. She left to attend class and me and a co-worker continued our work. I started with the bathroom window and froze when I saw a figurine of a wolf howling on the countertop. It weirded me out, so that taunting me, plus the girl and some other weird shaman-like symbolism in the little apartment, plus the work being frustrating, made me trip into a sudden angry, depressed mood. I ended up just having to step back and take a moment to regain my composure and realize how ridiculous I was being. An hour later, I was better, but still trying to figure out how I had gotten there.
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mutz
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Oct 12, 2018 22:51:25 GMT
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Post by mutz on Oct 12, 2018 22:51:25 GMT
I have a desk job... 4 years ago I had a more physically active job - in the same company- building hydro and eolic power plants, and transmission lines. But I was too short tempered to deal with people doing wrong (and illegal) stuff... let's say I went 'full Sicilian' on some union douches and I let the wolf go free...
I had a bad depression after it and had to learn how to find my balance again
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red
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Oct 17, 2018 2:11:09 GMT
Post by red on Oct 17, 2018 2:11:09 GMT
Interesting. I have a pretty strong sense of justice myself and tend to take care of things myself. Not a fan of the "law," but that's all I'll say about that here. Definitely been frustrated by co-workers not doing their due diligence, but really hate it when it affects me and how I'm doing my job or keeping my time at work. I've had depression issues since I was a kid myself. Walks in the woods helped clear my mind. That and also hanging out with non-judgemental animals, not that I really know of any that are.
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mutz
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Oct 19, 2018 13:24:24 GMT
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Post by mutz on Oct 19, 2018 13:24:24 GMT
It's kinda interesting that dealing with animals sometimes is easier than dealing with humans.
Btw since I was really young I had some kind of instinctive connection with dogs. And as I grew up I realised that I was attracted and amazed by wolves.
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red
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Oct 25, 2018 2:47:37 GMT
Post by red on Oct 25, 2018 2:47:37 GMT
Yeah well. You don't have to converse with animals and if you do they can't understand let alone judge you, so that's probably why it's easier for us. Were you ever able to use that connection with dogs that you had and have you ever met a wolf? It's been ages since I saw one.
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Advice
Oct 29, 2018 19:30:41 GMT
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Post by Bertje on Oct 29, 2018 19:30:41 GMT
I see many people here also hate the summer!
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red
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Oct 30, 2018 2:27:10 GMT
Post by red on Oct 30, 2018 2:27:10 GMT
Yeah, what can you expect when you get a bunch of berserkers together I guess. They commiserate about the heat of summer.
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