need help understanding an incident.

I am new to this sort of thing so, please don't mind any missteps. I have had my ability since I was around ten when I first lost control. When I was six , I was struck by a car. was in the hospital for about two weeks, fractured skull,internal injuries , and a broken pelvis. when they put what I was told was a Barium IV into me to check for the internal damage. I had a very nasty reaction to it. I can fully imagine what it must feel like to be burned in the lake of fire, as the pain was like a concentrated acid that was eating me from the inside out. after I got out of the hospital, I noticed that people,especially other children were either unfriendly, or outright hostile towards me. I guess it is like when an animal is injured the others turn on it, or perhaps they thought me easy prey, as I was very weakened from the experience. it seems that enduring that pain awoke a fighter mentality in me as I never backed down , no matter the odds. wasn't strong or quick enough to defeat the bigger ones. around ten, before I lost control the time, I started to become even more aggressive when confronted. I would bite,claw and use non-normal techniques in a fight. had to be viscous , as I was smaller,weaker,alone, and poor eyesight. Eventually it got bad enough were I almost broke a much taller kid's neck when I was a junior in high school. Then I realized that there was a serious danger. I would still never take to retreating as I realized that it would only encourage them to attack me. I spent a few years trying to keep it at bay,sometimes successful. I realized one day that to be safer I would have to build up my willpower,discipline, and some type of emotional training. It helped a good bit as only one more time did I lose control after that, which is the incident I am asking about. around twenty-two years ago I was in a toughman contest in sioux city, IA where in the first match I went up against a trained, not pro, boxer when we went to touch gloves ,he sucker-punched me , and I became very angry. most of the fight , from what I was told I kind of chased around the ring, and when I caught up to him , he would wrap me up. his punches had zero effect.  But after the bell rang each round I would go back to normal till the next round. I noticed , even though I am nearly legally blind without my glasses, I could see normally during the round breaks, after the bell rang to start the new round I would lose control again, wash ,rinse,repeat. at near the end of the last round, though , I became aware when he was trying to wrap me up again. I pulled my left arm loose and punched him in the shoulder driving him back, and I had just enough energy to hit him just above the belt next to his navel with a drill punch, he was rigid , as what he told me later from the pain of that punch, but I was too exhausted to try hit him again. the bell rang and I lost the match because of the earlier knockdown from the suckerpunch. I have Mr. Wayland's book " does not play well with others" . Perhaps I am somehow missing it,  but I cannot why that would happen. I noticed that my earlier training seems to be along the same lines he was using, have to try the pillars and coins exercises when I can make a proper setup. Haven't dared try the initiation, either.